Journal #4 - Remember Me....

Watching this movie is remind me of someone...someone really special to me....it remind me of someone i lost forever....he will never be come back to us again. He can't be replaced...


It been almost 2 years he left us here in this world. And for that .. i still missed him expecially during i'm sad and when i need a friend to share my happiness...

i dreamed of him last 3 weeks...he came to and said "Dang....everything will be OK"....he rubed me at my chest. I cried when i wake up...during that time, my emotions were not stable.... I just break up that time.. Usually his the one i can share almost everything bout my life. Same goes to him. He is like my brother and also my bestfriend. My office mate call us 'lovers' coz almost all the time we spend time together. He also 'manja' to me.....hahahaha..but we are not like that ok....

i still remember we get drunk together and couldnt find our car...hahahahaha..very funny that time. We laugh and shouting calling his car...hahahahaha....so stupid that time. Switching our names is commonly we did when we go to clubbing...we just make fun to people....other than that .. watching movie at Cinema was 2nd thing we always do....

Our friendship strated when we both working at The Beach Club a.k.a The BED.... i also bring him working at the company i work now...started from Production Clerk he grow become Supervisor at our company. I knew that i can count on him.

His a good guy...very-very good....always helping his friends...he never say 'NO' to his friends.... he always make pple laugh with his spontaneous joke...sometimes he make himself look fools...I miss his smile and his laugh. Never get angry with people...he did actualy but he try not to show it. I knew when he was mad to me.. silent was his sign.

When he has extra money..always 'belanja me makan'...but usually im the one who buy for him. He always make stupid thing sometimes. but that normal for pple like us cozi also always did the same thing.

During i get called from his brother, it just like a im dreaming. I cried that morning...i just cant believe that i lost my bestbuddy. he just 27 when left us. my knees feels week and my head spining around during i get the news. I cried everyday...day or night or when im alone..it goes more than a weeks. i just cant stop it. I really felt that half of my life are missing....its take few month to gather myself back on track... i did keep a few his belonging....I kept his favorite shirt...

this is the first time i lost someone that i really care .... my love for him was more than my love to my girlfriend.....hahahahahaha.... and it will always grow inside me even his gone forever.

until now, i cannot go visit his 'resting' place....im scared that i cant hold myself during that time....God give me a strength to visit his 'resting' place.... how i wish to have the strength when the time was come.

"Marvin....thank you for everything....i always remember you...thanks for being so patient with me..thank you for being my bestfriend....thank you for make me happy always....there is no words can describe how special you are.....and if i have a sons...i will named him "Marvin"....May your Soul in peace....amen...